Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A T.I.M.E.

A TIME's annual Shabbaton is coming up. It is an event they hold for people who are going through primary infertility. As I've written before, A TIME is a bit too chassidic for my taste. I sometimes check out their forums, but not too often. Anyway, a friend of mine called me the other day and told me I had to check out a thread about the upcoming weekend. I checked it out, and I am horrified.
Basically, the thread mentioned that in the past, some Modern Orthodox people were uncomfortable at the Shabbaton. Something about challah covers and kiddush cups, along with separate seating, and Yiddish speeches. There was mixed seating available, but only a little bit, and it was stuck in a corner. One poster said he felt like a step-child who was hidden away, or something like that, I don't remember exactly.
Anyway, the first few posts gave exactly what was asked for, constructive criticism and suggestions. It was done in a nice manner. Then, one poster, who I'm going to assume is either Ultra Orthodox or Chassidic, comes out and writes, "Are you for real?" It was in regard to a suggestion for having one event during the weekend be completely mixed, men and women. Other modern Orthodox posters wrote that they'd be fine having some events be completely separate, and having none be completely mixed. Yet, for some reason, all the Ultra Orthodox and Chassidim decided to gang up on the Modern Orthodox posters and insult them. They insulted their needs and beliefs, which they were asked to post!
I'm happy we're pregnant now, and therefore ineligible to go on the Shabbaton. I wouldn't want to go with people like that.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW. talk about a one sided spin. I'm the 'chasidic' person who said 'are youf or real'. and I still maintain my stance, that expecting a chasidishe yungerman to sit in a mixed oneg is ludicrous.

I'm not even going to begin to respond to the rest of your post or your denigration of this amazing organization. it's a waste of breath.

Trying said...

But they never said they expected it! They said that it was a suggestion. They never demanded it, they said it was just one idea. Saying "are you for real" is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

they definitely did. "It's only fair that the chasidim" etc. It's never gonna happen. theyre not living in the real world. that's all.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the original blog poster. I saw that thread and was shocked by the attacking post, when all the previous posts did was state their suggestions, which they were asked for. There was no reason for the attack on a suggestion that ATIME would probably not listen to anyway. That was not the point of the thread and it just started a religious war.

Anonymous said...

There is a story about Chafetz Chaim and Rav Meir Shapiro coming to him for Shabbos. He asked that there be separate seating. It is an absolute true story that before he comes to Radin, he tells the Chafetz Chaim I am going to be in Radin for Shabbos, I would like to be at your table. The Chafetz Chaim says, "with pleasure." The Maharam Shapiro knew that the Chafetz Chaim was a Litvak, i.e., men and women eat together. Maharam Shapiro asks the Chafetz Chaim to separate, that is, to put his wife at a different table. The Chafetz Chaim answers that if that is the case you can't be my guest. It is an absolutely true story.

Anonymous said...

This story was said by Rav Pam and is in the book Shabbos With Rav Pam
Parshas Tzaveh I think.

infertile said...

I have to say that I just found your blog, and I remember that thread b4 it was poulled. I am not chassidish nor litvish or MO I am a plain jew.
I did read those comments and felt that they were strong in the beg. there were two nice threads that spoke nicely. the rest after that spoke shrewdly as if everything was done on purpose. I know that bec. I have been to the retreat from the start, and NEVER have i seen a report like that. and they have asked for sggestions b4 and never has the mixed tables spoke like that. Speeches I understand, but they are never in the back corner, I felt while reading all those posts that they found everything and anything to complain about. I am such an optimist and don't get the negative. I asked my friends tha sat mixed last year at least 7 of them if they had any probs, and they all said no! so I don't get who felt so adamantly angry like a step child? maybe you could explain. I have siblings and many relatives that are MO and if they need to sit separate they do without a fuss on shabbos.
pleaese explain?

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Anonymous said...

I realize this post is a year old but I just came back from the ATIME shabbaton and t'was beautiful, chassidish, litvish, sfardy, and MO sat, ate and danced together and ALL the speeches were in English.

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