Monday, April 28, 2008

Over Pesach

Yom Tov was pretty nice, overall. We had to go to my parents for the entire thing, because of the bed rest issue. We'd planned on going home for Chol Hamoed, until the doctor said no more cleaning.
All my siblings were there for the second days of Pesach. Now, as I've written before, both of my sisters-in-law are pregnant. One is due in about 2-3 weeks, the other in 5 weeks. The younger one, due in 5 weeks, told my wife that she'd been having some stomach pains, and was scared she'd go into premature labor. Excuse me? You're already at 35 weeks, and you're worried? What happens if you deliver tomorrow, do you know? Chances are, at 35 weeks, your baby wouldn't even have to go into a NICU at all! There's a 95% chance the baby wouldn't have any issues due to the "early" birth.
Here we are, at 21 weeks, with the doctor explaining to us the statistics about babies born at less than 29-30 weeks, because it's a real chance with us. We went on a tour of the NICU last Wednesday after our doctor visit, and let me tell you, it's scary. Seeing all those tiny babies is pretty scary, knowing your kids have a good chance of ending up there. So to hear my SIL complaining was a bit annoying. They really have no clue how lucky they are.
As for the older SIL (who is still younger than me), she already has 2 kids, this is their 3rd on the way. I don't see them in their house, but at my parents, they are pretty hands off. They dump everything relating to their kids onto other people if they can. For example, their kids made a huge mess on the living room floor. Lego pieces everywhere, and they just left it there. My mother walked into the room, and said she's embarrassed because she was expecting some guests, and they'd see her floor like that. My SIL just sat there, and didn't say a word. My younger sisters just sat there, and one of them said, "Well, I don't want to clean it up, they're just going to make a mess again tomorrow." I actually understand her, and it's not her kids, so why should she do it? Anyway, my wife, who's supposed to be on bed rest, was sitting on the couch. She can't stand seeing a mess, it just drives her crazy. So, she got up, and started gathering up the lego pieces. After a minute, she said, "You know, I'm supposed to be resting, all this bending isn't too good for me." So what does my SIL, the kids' mother, say? "Well, why don't you sit on the floor while you gather them up?" I wasn't there at the time, but if I was, I would have screamed at her. What kind of idiot is she? She takes no responsibility whatsoever for her children, and even has the nerve to tell my wife, who's supposed to be resting, how to clean up after the mess her kids made? That's just typical of my brother and his wife.


Michele said...

Ahhh, gotta love the family : ) But it is true, if you haven't experienced difficulties having children, you don't have a clue how hard it can be. We were like that. We got pregnant so easily the first time and it wasn't until I started reading stats about how hard it is for anyone over 40 to even get pregnant, that I realized what a little miracle our daughter really is. Just keep reminding yourself that they are clueless.

Mindy said...

yes, your sister in law was deff. a total idiot!

My son was born at 33 weeks - admittedly it's much much better than 29 or 30 - and I actually had a very pleasant experience with the NICU (he was there for 2 weeks). I think you're IYh delivering in the same hospital - yes it looks scary but it's manageable. I hope your wife gets steroids shots as soon as she can (about 24 weeks).

I wish your wife a very long pregnancy. it is scary. With the type of uterus/cervix she has, twins is pretty risky and scary. I'm glad youre with a good high risk team and that theyre being very cautious. Please wish her the best from me.

hoping for a child said...

family can suk! my SIL wins the prize. the stories i could tell...she refuses to eat in my home b/c it's not kosher yet she'll eat in any restaurant. kosher by convenience i call her. she's an accountant in london and she explained when we first met that that's equivalent to being a lawyer in the states. such a freaking snob. i'm so glad she lives in another country. ok, back to your wife...force her to rest for goodness sake!

shot in the arm said...

So you are having twins? I was wondering about your wording. Do we get to see photos from your wifes visit to the doctor?

hoping for a child said...

what was your wife's beta? tell me i'm having twins not more?

hoping for a child said...

thanks for the info. i really hope we don't have to talk about making such a hard decision. i pray it's two and no more.

MedWriter said...

I've just stumbled onto your blog, and its nice to see other Jewish folks blogging about infertility and pregnancy :)
It's definitely an experience! ;)
All the best to you and your wife,
(kol tuv)

Anonymous said...

Reread this when you have your babies. YOu will have another opinion. I DO NOT let my kids run amok, UNLESS I'm with family whom I hope can understand how hard it is and can help me catch a break. Sometimes it's a vacation. Sounds like you should cut your famliy a break. Sorry Charlie. Like you but you're being too hard.